Friday, January 15, 2010


If you had the chance to read my old blog or to read the original tag line, the focus of my blog is taking on widowhood and photography a click at a time. To rehash a bit, I began shooting pictures because I couldn't look at the world, and visualize what I saw. I could see to do things like drive, cook when I was able, and to get around, but I'd completely lost all sense of vision. I don't expect this to make sense to all of you reading this blog, but I suspect there will be those among you who walk the stretch of road that I do who will, unfortunately, completely understand. For some reason, I was driven to pick up a camera nineteen months after I lost my husband, and I relied very heavily on it to verify what I saw in the world. If I took a picture of, let's say, an apple, when I uploaded the image and looked it, I had tangible proof of what I saw in terms of the object, it's color, the light around it, and its place in the world.

Like I said, this may not make sense to you at all, but this is the only explanation I've got. Or it may make perfect sense. I'll have to leave that up to you, Gentle Reader.

I shoot landscapes for two reasons. The first is my husband. My husband was an environmental economist who dedicated his life and career to environmental causes, and did so while fighting kidney disease his whole life. I feel closest to him while I'm chasing the light in a beautiful location; I feel him with me. And I imagine he gets a kick out of seeing his wife slogging through the muck, brush, snow and mud - a wife who's idea of nature involved shopping at an outdoor  mall rather than one indoors. (OK, I'm really not that shallow, but when I told a friend of mine that I'd bought a pair of hiking boots, I had to look for smelling salts.)

The second reason has to do with widowhood. It's easier to say to well meaning friends, "oh, I drove seven hours to X for a photo shoot" than, "I drove through the mountains at three am because I couldn't sleep and had a flight or flight response."

Again, I know there are those of you reading who unfortunately know exactly what I mean.


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